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Monday, February 12, 2018

More on Long Distance Lovin'


It’s been seven months or so since I began the long-distance portion of my relationship with my boyfriend Cody. He’s from my hometown, but since he attends school out of state most of the time, we’ve had to make distance work for a few months now.

And we have made it work. While we don’t always enjoy the distance - what couple does? - we’ve made the best of it through phone calls and Google Duo. Believe me, he’s worth the nights of waiting and counting down the days until we get to see each other in person again.

I’ve written a post on long-distance relationships before. But today, I wanted to write a post on some more things I’ve learned now that we've been doing this long-distance thing for awhile.

Shift Your Focus

I was in the car with Cody awhile back, and we were talking about how we dealt with the distance. We deal with it well, even though it’s hard, because, honestly, we have lives across a state line: he’s a student, I’m working. 

But it hit me that day that it’s not about the leaving, even though it’s the worst part of distance itself. It’s about looking forward to seeing your love again.

It’s much better to anticipate someone you love’s arrival than their departure. By far. So, while it is okay to miss your love fiercely, it’s also just as important to have a date that you’ll see each other again, and focus on that while you’re apart.

While you’re waiting for that date, plan dates and talk about upcoming adventures. While you are apart each passing day, every ounce of passing time brings you one day closer to being together again.

In the meantime...

COMMUNICATE

I know this is what everybody says is important in a long-distance relationship, but after doing it for over six months, I second all of my fellow LDR-ers one hundred percent.

It is SO important to make sure you are a part of your love’s life as they are in yours. Figure out a call schedule - I say call, not text, because it’s so much better when you can hear their voice - that works for you both. And if you can’t make that schedule, it’s okay; you’re both busy, and sometimes it’s hard to talk on the phone or Skype at specific times depending on schedules and data plans. Just make sure to find workarounds: talk earlier, make sure you have Wifi, whatever. Keeping your love updated on what’s going on in your life will ease the weight of the distance and make things a little easier while you’re apart.

The reason why they say communication is important is one, you can still be part of each other’s lives while apart, and two, it keeps the trust strong. Before you get in an LDR, make sure your trust is strong to begin with, but when you are apart, keep building that trust. Bring up things that bother you when they arise, and apologize if you need to. Like I said, keep that trust strong, and make sure your love knows you have their back, and that they have yours.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Finally, as much as the above statement irritates me - especially when my boyfriend and I are far away from each other - it’s true.

While LDR situations aren’t what couples usually want, I do feel blessed with the LDR situation I have. The longest I’ve been away from Cody while we’ve been dating has been about three weeks. Usually, the stretches are two weeks apart. The situation could have easily been that we’d have to wait even longer to see each other, and to all you Long Distance guys and gals who deal with cross-country, global, and military relationships and marriages, I am so proud of you.

But, to be frank, the distance reminds me to appreciate and make the best of every ounce of time I spend with my boyfriend. Sometimes, I’m guilty of being greedy when it comes to time spent, but more and more each day, I’m thankful for the way Cody loves me and I’m more thankful than words can express to God for bringing us together and giving us the  time we get to spend with each other. And, as I’ve said many times on this blog, Cody is worth the wait, worth every two to three weeks of phone calls and nightly video chats. 



So, in summary, I don’t like the absence - and neither does my boyfriend - but my love for Cody is fonder and stronger with every passing day, together or apart. And I can say with full confidence that he feels the same for me, no matter where we are.
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1 comment

  1. That’s mighty sweet annnd quite mushy!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜˜

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